Here's my debate. I am running a 10K race on Sunday morning with BF, Mia, and Solrac.
We've established that Solrac will be running on his own because he likes to sprint and then walk and that doesn't mesh with anyone else's style. He's not "well prepared" for this race, but he'll get through it.
Mia was sick for two weeks about a month ago and she never really came back from it. This was exemplified last night when it took us 33mins to run 5.25km because she wasn't feeling her stride and we had to add in more walking breaks. This was frustrating, but I get that some days are harder than others. BF and I have a last run scheduled with her tomorrow for 5K. Her pace the last few times has been killing me. I feel like I am dragging her along and she used to keep up without complaint.
The debate is:
- Do I tell her that on Sunday I'll start the run with her, but plan on running my own race if she can't keep pace
- Do I run at her pace the whole way and embrace being a supportive friend as my goal
- Do I have BF run with her and "run like I stole it" (he's offered, but I told him that wouldn't be necessary previously)
Help? What would you do? What would you expect if you'd been training with someone?
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7 comments:
Hmmm...that's a toughie, not knowing Mia. On the one hand, she might be expecting to have a buddy the whole time. On the other hand, she might feel like you're patronizing her if she knows you're a much faster runner and are keeping to her pace during a race. You could try talking with her about it, although that's pretty awkward, coming from the point of view of being the faster runner. Were I in your shoes, I'd probably quietly write this one off as a social run and focus on another race for the "run like I stole it" experience. :-)
I haven't trained with anyone for a race, but unless it was a condition of the race (e.g., teams needing to finish within a certain time of each other), I would expect everyone to go at their own usual pace, with the social aspects happening before and after. I think it would depend on the person I was racing with, though. If I were doing a 5K with my mom, for example, I'd want to walk with her instead of run.
Oh I have SO been in this situation. I'll be honest: I ran my own race (code for I ditched him/her). This is why my husband won't run races with me. He thinks it's a way to jog leisurely through a pretty park and get in some good couple time and I'm all about trying to bust through the next pack. I'm too competitive to slow it down for someone, not to mention it HURTS to run slower than pace. In my defense (because I'm sure I sound like a total jerk now), I expect others to do the same with me. I'd never want a friend to run a slower race because of me.
Why don't you talk to mia about how she is feeling about the race, her goal for it and your goal for it. i am sure that she will understand your need to run the race at a speed that is best suited for you. bf will make a lovely running partner for her and maybe knowing you will be there waiting at the finish line cheering her on at the end will be helpful to her.
i say start with her and then break away on your own but definitley talk to her about it first. i would want that.
My opinion: I say training runs are one thing, races are another. The point of a race, in my opinion, is to perform at the top of your game that day and beat your previous record or whatever goal you set for yourself. If not that, why pay the race fees and get up early and all that? Why not just run somewhere for free?
I would definitely talk with her before though if you're feeling iffy, maybe just express that you really feel great about your training and feel like a PR is in your sights and want to make sure you both run the best race you can and don't feel like you need to keep up with each other (who knows, maybe she'll have a crazy awesome day and outpace you).
Totally my 2 cents, and for the record I've never trained WITH anyone for a race so I'm probably biased.
Ladies, thank you all for your thoughtful feedback and insight. The verdict is in, either BF or I will start and finish the race with her. We went for "the last run" tonight in the pouring rain (just Mia and I) and not only did she not whine, but she volunteered to tack on an extra 2K. We discussed it and she doesn't want to hold us back, but she'd also love to have the company.
She gave us our blessing that if by chance its a "great running day" on Sunday and we think we could giver for a PR to do it. I told her it wasn't likely, but that I appreciated her understanding.
Thanks again for all your thoughts! Wish us luck.
I would just talk to her about it. I mean, a good friend shouldn't want to hold you back, but if it was some kind of agreement that everyone finish together then you may want to stay with her. Just pose the question to her if she expects you to stay with her the whole race. It's a tough one. I mean, you may end up staying with her this race. Do that, if it makes you feel like a better friend. There will be other races, and next time you know the risk of training with.
Run your own race. Even if it's social for you, she'll still be pushing hard, right? And it might be harder for her to see you running along in much better condition than her. (But: check with her first, don't take off 5 minutes in...)
ps love your blog!
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